Really, It's OK to Come Out

Here we are - 40w4d. You won't make it here in the next hour and 10 minutes, so you officially win the 2nd place prize for Benz gestation length (I'm saying second because if you make Mama carry you farther than SG -41w5d- you'll be in BIG trouble.) I've been trying to gently give you the eviction notice- walking, bouncing on the birth ball, baths with clary sage oil, The Miles Circuit, etc. but you seem comfy in there. Part of me wonders if I am having trouble letting go of you because of you being the last. But then I remember that I want to actually MEET you - and I'm OK with you coming.

At our 40w visit one of your midwives (Alison) and I talked about how I had a lot of weight loss last week and my belly looked smaller. We suspect that you don't have as much fluid as you did, so I've been drinking water and Gatorade like a crazy person. What I really don't want to happen is to make it to your 41w appointment on Monday and find out that your fluid is too low and you have to be induced. Induction in the hospital is not very much fun and I'd rather not partake, thankyouverymuch.

People are annoying the heck out of me these days. They all want to know why you haven't come yet. Uh, because you haven't. It's not like I put a cork in there. I'm doing my best to be patient with people and keep the snark out. Even Sarah Grace is really frustrated. Every day that we wake up all at home (instead of the hospital) she yells at us that we should have had the baby last night. Today was really emotionally tough. Your sisters and brother were being ca-ra-zy and whiny and I snapped and made them stay in the basement until Daddy came home. Then we went to the mall and walked and went to hibachi for dinner. One last big night out for everyone and then you can come (ha.)


We *think* we have names for you  but we're just not 100%. I want to see your sweet little face before I decide. And I think once I know if you're a boy or a girl I'll be able to stress less. Might as well get rid of half of the equation from the start, right?

You and Sarah Grace

38 Weeks and a Visit With the Doulas

Hey! Look! It's OK for you to come now. But, I have no delusions that you will for a while. Tonight we met with our doulas (Robin, Angela and Nicole.) We talked about birth preferences. For the most part the plan is the same as with the previous births. Go to Clark, have a baby, try not to use drugs. While I think I would have had a better experience with Solomon's birth if I had used medicine, I am glad I didn't with your sisters' births. I pray that you give me an easy experience. I also would love it if you wouldn't break your clavicle like your sister did (OK? Got it.) The midwives think you'll be equally as big as your siblings. Your heartrate has been in the 140's - perfectly between old wives' tales about your sex. Let's work together and we'll make this as easy as possible.

Going Home Outfit

They decided you need something gender neutral.

A Family Picture and Beach Recap

I thought going to the beach with kids would be absolutely stress inducing. Surprisingly, this was a very relaxing trip. Your dad is amazing and watched your siblings so that you and I could get some naps in. The whole family pitched in. We drove about 12 (if you're on time) hours to Cape San Blas, Florida. Your grandparents generously gifted the family with this vacation. We hung out on the beach, played in the pool and generally rested. We even drove home all in one fell swoop. My feet were not too small by the time we got home. Other weird symptoms I'm having: joint pain that hurts like the devil. I can't move my fingers well or bend my knees. Imagine how fun it is to go to the bathroom like a gazillion times a day when it hurts to bend your knees. My shoulders ache some but it's the fingers and the knees that are killing me. The midwives don't know if it is my shots, something else or just a fluke. I'm not enjoying it. Plus, all I want is to take a bottle of Ibuprofen (not allowed during pregnancy.) But overall, who can complain when you've got such a sweet little Caboose on board?

Oatmeal Creme Pies

Creme? Cream? I don't know and I don't freaking care these things are delicious. Usually when I'm not pregnant a Little Debbie snack cake makes me feel sick because they are sugar and chemicals. But really right now these are delicious and the perfect 3am snack. I'm sorry I'm not making you with all healthy foods. I also really hope they still have these when you're older so that you can experience the yumminess. If not, I'll make you an at-home version that will no doubt be yummier and less chemically.

It Only Took 13 Weeks...

It only took 13 weeks for me to have the confidence to write your blog. Yes, I know how silly that sounds, particularly given that we announced your pregnancy really, really early. I just really never expected us to make it this far. At my 10-week appointment with our midwife she was asking me why I felt like something was wrong. I couldn't put my finger on it. And I still can't. I hope to goodness that this is just something that happens after one-too-many miscarriages. You just worry. But alas, here we are. Second trimester (not that my "morning" sickness has noticed.) We found out we were expecting you after your father repeatedly told me that I was pregnant. "No, I'm not" I'd reply. Then I broke my toes and needed an xray. Rather than risk it, I decided to take a test before I went to the doctor. I called your dad to come home from choir practice because I needed to go to the doctor. Then I cried. "This isn't how I wanted to tell you. I can't have an xray. I'm pregnant" and your dad just lit up like a Christmas tree. I have never seen a man receive news with such joy. (For the record, I did get the xray, with the blessing of our midwife.)

First and foremost, you should know that you are much loved and long-awaited. Your siblings started asking for a baby before Daddy and I could even really wrap our heads around the idea. They want a brother. Dear goodness, we hope for their sake that you are a brother. They are convinced you are a boy. Sarah Grace believes this to be true because she prayed for a boy with Solomon, a girl with Hannah, and for a boy with you. So, yeah, if you're a girl... I'm sorry. They'll get over it eventually, I'm sure. I have a great plan not to tell them your sex until they actually see your little face. I figure you'll be just so cute that boy or girl won't matter to them at that point. But at this point, it matters. Solomon keeps telling me he loves his little brother. Oof.

And why the name of your blog? If nothing else, my dear one, you have convinced me that this is my last pregnancy. I'm sure when I'm closing up your blog on your 1st birthday, I'll be briefly considering the sweetness of baby kicks and first coo's. But no, this is too hard. For one, we haven't won the lottery yet. And two, the last thirteen weeks have been some of the hardest of my life. By no fault of yours, I've just been really sick. I put "morning" sickness in quotes because it usually starts about lunchtime and I'm nauseous and or vomiting through bedtime. I've taken Zofran, Phenergan, every old wives' tale around and still, the sickness continues. I'm hoping that this is the last week of it. Which brings me to my next point:

Your father is a saint. Your dad has dutifully fulfilled cravings, made dinner, brought me my shots and supplies, cleaned the house and generally waited on me hand and foot for the last three months. I've taken care of your siblings through some really awful illnesses (Hannah went to the hospital for a few days, for example) and Daddy has done the rest. I can't count the number of nights he's made a yummy dinner and then cleaned the bucket as I've barfed it back up. If you're grossed out reading that as an adult, you can just imagine being the one to do it. We love you. If you've ever wanted a good example of Christ's love, take a look at your father. He serves me so well. I am so appreciative. I have promised to return to semi-human life soon.

Craving report: salty foods. Usually a sweets-lover, most of the time I can take them or leave them right now. Tonight I was craving a milkshake, which has been unusual. For the most part I want potato chips, vegetable sushi and the like. I craved those things with Sarah Grace. If you, the other bookend, are as strong-willed as her, you'll go far (and I'll go crazy.)

So we expect you to be born at the end of August or the beginning of September. Thanks for being our newest blessing. We can't wait to meet you.

Us at 7 weeks

How we told the world you are joining us

You at 10 weeks